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100 things

1.  I really wish I could whistle.
2.  My middle name is Beth.  Not Elizabeth- Beth.
3.  Housework makes me very happy, especially vacuuming.
4.  I can’t go to bed if there are dishes in the sink, and I can’t leave the house if my bed is unmade.  If I do, then I’m depressed, sad, or something is wrong with my general mental state.
5.  I am oh-my-God seriously allergic to almonds, pecans, and walnuts.  This often makes me feel like a bad person.
6.  I am dysfunctional at best and hysterical at worst for the first 20 minutes I am awake on a workday.
7.  On weekend mornings, I’m just fine.
8.  I am a natural redhead, but I dye my hair another flavor of red than that that came preinstalled.
9.  I could listen to Sean Connery read census findings and be happy.
10. Or any male with a Scottish, Irish, or English accent.
11. I am the second clumsiest person I know- Sabine is first.
12. I bathe twice a day, almost every day (but always once).
13. I want to be a good cook, a charming conversationalist, and a great housekeeper- like June Cleaver, but without the kids.
14. I am a feminist, by definition.
15. I don’t see any reason why #s 13 and 14 should be considered to conflict.
16.  New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday.
17.  I cannot name my favorite song, because I have about 15.  I refuse to pare it down and pick one.
18.  I am the youngest of 2.5 (2 for mom, 3 for dad) daughters, and we are all 1 month shy of being 9       years apart.
19.  I was supposed to be a boy.  My name would have been George Michael Jr.
20.  I refuse to feel guilty for having a TV in my bedroom.
21.  The idea of singing kereoke terrifies me
22.  Singing in a group of friends is great fun for me- and I even have 2 songs I will sing all by myself in front of people.
23.  The two songs I know are possibly the dirtiest songs I’ve ever heard.  Well, one is dirty and the other is just obscene.
24.  I don’t have one best friend.  I have 5.  I call them my Tribal Council.
25.  3 of my tribal council are men- all of whom I’ve had romantic relationships with.
26.  The 2 women?  I’d totally date… if I were even the tiniest bit gay.
27.  Evil Sara says she’d never date me.  There’d be too much drama.  She’s right.
28.  Oftentimes drinking does not give me a hangover.  Beef often does.
29.  I feel very insecure if I am wearing my eyeglasses.  This stems from a boy I had a mad crush on at 13 telling me that I “hid” behind my glasses.
30.  That boy was my first kiss when I was 14- I had contacts by then.
31.  I’ve never seen a James Bond movie.
32.  Or any Terminator movie.
33.  Or any movie with a zombie in it, that I can recall.
34.  I have seen all of the Bring It On movies.  Even the direct-to-DVD ones.
35.  I have no idea what my IQ is, and I don’t care to know.
36.  I think that a suntan is extremely unattractive.
37.  Sears commercials have made me cry.
38.  My biggest turn off is insecurity.
39.  I am so insecure that it isn’t even funny.
40.  I like double-standards.
41.  I have two tattoos- a viking and a celtic knot.
42.  I still like both of my tattoos and want a few more.
43.  I watch “When Harry Met Sally” at least 4 times a year.
44.  I have never had a successful relationship with anybody I wasn’t friends with first.
45.  With two noteworthy exceptions, one from high school and one as an adult, I am still on friendly terms with everyone I’ve been involved with.
46.  I’m divorced.  I’m friends with him, too.
47.  I truly believe that men and women can be “just friends” with no awkwardness.
48.  I own a tractor.
49.  I’ve been a Pelican in the SCA since I was 27.
50.  It still throws me off when people call me “Mistress.”
51.  As of this revision, I have 3 proteges.
52.  I call them my Minions.  It’s a term of respect.
53.  I also have Tools.  That’s also a term of respect.
54.  If I call you a “really sweet guy” chances are, that’s not a term of respect.
55.  I love to dance.
56.  I dance really, really badly.
57.  I have a magic toe.  It’s where I get my super powers from.
58.  There’s a special dance that invokes one of my super powers.
59.  The dance can make Sabine fall down laughing.
60.  I own at least 4 sewing machines.
61.  And 2 sergers.
62.  I am incapable of having “big hair”.  It’s only been managed once- for  a prom, when I was 14.  A gay man accomplished that feat, and it’s never happened again.
63.  I get ear infections at the drop of a hat.
64.  And chicken pox.
65.  I really, really do not like clowns.
66.  I’ve had crushes on Bret Michaels, John Goodman, and Gilbert Gottfried.
67.  On 2 of those 3, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking.
68.  I won’t tell you which two (well, ok, Gilbert Gottfried is one of them).
69.  I collect 4-leaf clovers, especially red ones.
70.  I didn’t know what a pedophile was until I went to college and I went to Wal-Mart and asked where they kept them.  I thought it was a pumice stone for feet (you know… pedo=foot + file…)
71.  I still hang out with the same people I did when I was a teenager, for the most part.
72.  They still surprise me.
73.  I’m comforted in knowing that I rarely surprise them.
74.  I absolutely hate it when doctors look in my ears.  I flinch.
75.  I loved high school.
76.  I have played the clarinet, bass clarinet, saxophone, guitar, and doumbek.
77.  I always wanted to play the piano but couldn’t figure it out.
78.  I tell my friends I love them way more often than would be considered normal.
79.  Fortunately, my friends are not what would be considered normal.
80.  I love live music, even when it’s kind of bad.
81.  I overthink EVERYTHING.
82.  People who love me call it “strategizing.”
83.  One of these days, I’m going to write “The Good Girls’ Guide to Machiavellianism.”
84.  Original Sara already pre-ordered her copy.
85.  I can’t bowl.
86.  Or play darts.
87.  Or play pool.
88.  I have jumped off of bridges just because my friends did.  They went first and checked for stumps.  That’s love.
89.  I spent my teenage years crawling out of my bedroom window to do so.
90.  I still think I was a pretty good kid.
91.  I’m snarky.
92.  I’m sarcastic.
93.  If I could pick one person to go to jail with, it’d probably be John.
94.  I use the words “Dude”, “Excellent”, “Awesome”, and “Epic” way too often to have a liberal arts degree that emphasized in literature.
95.  I like being around people who are smarter than I am.
96.  I think that “Drive” by Melissa Ferrick is the sexiest song ever written.
97.  I am a Facebook addict.
98.  I am the shyest extrovert I know.
99.  I love school supplies.
100.  I used to close my eyes when driving over bridges because they scared me.  Squid always took the wheel and I knew I’d be safe.  I’m over the fear of bridges, but I’d still let him take the wheel if he wanted to.

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